


hallucinations in a hospital bed

by tarukannel



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Hallucinations, Hospital, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Mental Illness, M/M, Original Characters - Freeform, Short, dani mcginley - character, first post here y'all so don't know what to tag i'm sorry, implied minor character death, mentioned theo, nathan cooper - character, nathan/dani - relationship, other mentioned characters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-06-10 10:19:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6952708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tarukannel/pseuds/tarukannel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wonders if it's really that easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hallucinations in a hospital bed

Nathan drums his fingers against the armrest. His leg bounces up and down and he briefly thinks he must look like the mental one. He glances at the clock and idly wonders if he’s allowed in yet. Rationality kicks in and tells him that if he was, someone probably would’ve told him that.

‘’Mr Cooper?’’

Nathan jumps up, following a kindly smiling nurse into a white, brightly lit and overly sterile room. It has a cold atmosphere and he shivers, he’s always hated hospitals. They smell like death. And cleaning supplies.

Someone clears their throat, ripping Nathan from his thoughts. He turns his head at the sound, finds himself alone with the occupied bed. He walks over to it and shifts his weight to his other foot. He can feel his heart beating out of concern, worry and something he can only think to be desperation.

‘’Hey’’, Dani says, his voice is hoarse and he has dark bags under his eyes. He’s pale and he looks weak and vulnerable, tied to the machines with creaky wires. It’s scary and Nathan fears.

‘’Hi’’, he answers, swallowing and trying to calm down. None of this is supposed to be happening, he tells himself, because his boyfriend wouldn’t overdose.

_And with heroin._

‘’I’m sorry’’, Dani says with a small voice like a child who’s waiting for his punishment. Tears make their way to Nathan’s eyes and he smiles weakly, slightly touching Dani’s hand where the skin is exposed without gauzes and wires.

‘’Don’t’’, he whispers, letting out a gross sob before sitting down next to Dani’s bed. He tries not to, but he ends up crying anyway. He’s supposed to be the strong one, the one who tells Dani everything is going to be okay and that he will get the help he needs to get rid of Theo’s ghost.

He wonders if it’s really that easy.

‘’No, I… I’ve been a right idiot. I’ve been so caught up in drugs, Theo and my hallucinations that I’ve completely ignored you and your feelings’’, Dani speaks hastily, his fingers hover over Nathan’s and he grabs his hand, squeezing.

The tears just keep coming.

‘’You’ll get help’’, Nathan says, lamely, he really doesn’t know what to do or say. It’s weird, considering that he’s seen Jake completely out of it, he’s seen Ronnie collapsed, he’s seen Rich after he tried to kill himself.

He realises he’s seen them all like this and he hasn’t done a single thing to help them.

He’s a bad friend.

‘’I’m tired’’, Dani suddenly says, letting go of Nathan’s hand. He turns his head away and takes a deep, shaky breath.

_I’m tired of you_ is what Nathan hears.

He heaves.

‘’You need to get some sleep’’, he advices, mentally slapping himself. As if Dani didn’t already know that.

He’s in a hospital, for fuck’s sake.

Dani laughs. It’s short, raspy and breathy but he does.

‘’I’m tired of seeing him everywhere I go, Nate, and it’s not just because of the pills or the weed’’, Dani admits, ‘’it’s in my head.’’

Nathan drops the bag he’s been holding and fails at trying not to look shocked.

He’s devastated.

‘’You’re ill’’, he says.

‘’I’m ill’’, Dani answers.

Nathan doesn’t need a diagnosis, he doesn’t need to hear it from the doctors. He’s been suspecting it ever since Dani confided in him about seeing Theo randomly.

He hates himself.

He doesn’t know how to help Dani. He doesn’t know how to get rid of Theo’s ghost.

The empty words echo in the room and his ears and Nathan’s heart spills out of his chest.

He can’t breathe.

He’s a bad person.

Dani says something. He doesn’t hear.

Everything goes black.

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone, this is my first post here so please forgive me for any crimes i've committed, i'm kinda new to this. 
> 
> anywho, i wanted to write something about my original characters and uh comments and everything are always appreciated. also please do keep in mind that english is not my first language so i'm terribly sorry for any mistakes i might've made. this has only been proof-read by me.
> 
> also this is very short so i apologise for that. if you want to, you can hit me up on tumblr @tarukannel
> 
> also i am open for writing stuff about my original characters based on prompts and stuff so yeah


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